Addiction Recovery: A road less traveled

There is an acronym in the addiction recovery world known as BLAST. This acronym highlights five of the most common triggers for addicts. These triggers are Bored, Lonely, Angry, Stressed, and Tired. With my addiction, I have answered each one of these triggers, I have inappropriately used technology to address my trigger. As you can imagine, this ultimately led to more anxiety, depression, and relapse. I want to give a recent example of how I was triggered and chose to hide in technology. Tax season can be stressful for everyone. I don’t necessarily like finances or talking about them. They can stress me out. During one such financial talk between myself, my wife, and an accountant, I found myself scrolling social media instead of participating in the conversation. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was stressed and answered the trigger with technology. Later, my wife asked me some questions and stated she felt alone because I hid in social media. It was an eye-opening experience...

The value of books has, for a large part of my life, been lost on me. There was a time in fifth grade when I was all about books. This was because it was a challenge, and I wanted to win. At the end of the year, I was the first student in the class to read 25 books and claim the win! Do I really remember which books I read? No, but I wasn’t trying to remember which books I read - I just wanted to win. Since then, my book reading has been limited to school and work employment rather than for personal growth and entertainment. This led me to a lot of screen time. Lots of screen time usually leads to boredom. For me, boredom is a trigger. That route usually led me to relapses. Another issue with screens is all the anxiety and depression that arise from screen time. At one point in time, I had work email on my phone. What did this lead to? Stress and anxiety from the first of the day. I would struggle to be emotionally available for my wife, family, and friends. Why? Because I started my d...

The saying “caught between a rock and a hard place” is a great way to summarize addiction. The rock in this situation is the ideal life. Doing all the right things in all the right ways. No more addiction because it’s gone. Serving with a great attitude and smiling everywhere. On the other side is the hard place. Let’s consider addiction the hard place. It’s a life that is well-known and difficult to let go of. It’s a place where addicts ‘think’ it is safe when in reality, it isn’t. So, what is a person to do? The solution might not be what you think. With this ideal life and addiction bearing down, the best thing to do is look up and stop holding on to either side. Looking up is symbolic of the idea of letting God step in and direct. By letting go of both sides and giving it up to God, you give to God the one thing that is truly yours to give: your agency. Elder Neil A Maxwell, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said: “The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely pers...

One of my favorite movie series is the Lord of the Rings. In this amazing adventure, a young halfing, Frodo, carries a dangerous and evil piece of jewelry - a ring. Frodo’s task is to cast the ring into a volcano known as the Fires of Mordor. During Frodo’s adventure, he is accompanied by his friend, Sam. During their travels, the weight of carrying the ring begins to press on Frodo. He changes from a loving, happy individual to an angry, depressed, and sad individual. Finally, Frodo and Sam arrive at this volcano. Before entering, and during a moment of rest, Sam asks Frodo if he remembers certain things about their home and past. Frodo, with sadness, looks back at Sam and admits that he does not remember those things. All he can remember is the darkness this ring has brought. Sam, his lifelong friend, is also sad that this burden Frodo carries has caused him to remember so much. The adventure continues for Frodo and Sam. They have a great fight and struggle to put the ring in the F...

Today, in combined Young Men’s and Women’s, we studied the book of Hosea and his recorded marriage with Gomer ( Hosea 1 and Hosea 2 ). This record starts off with God commanding Hosea to marry Gomer. According to the Old Testament, Gomer was a woman of whoredoms and Hosea was a prophet. The instructor asked the youth to read verses from Hosea 1 and Hosea 2. After the readings, the teacher asked the youth to list out characteristics of Gomer. These are a few of the characteristics they listed: Selfish Cheating Short-sighted Disobedient Unloyal Unkind Forgetful Then the youth were asked to list characteristics of Hosea. Here were some of the characteristics the youth identified: Selfless Serving Loving End in Mind attitude Loyal Kind Forgiving As we continued to read the account in the Old Testament, we learned that this marriage was an example of our relationship with God. This really hit me pretty hard - especially as a recovering addict. Was this really how my re...

One of the most famous parables in the New Testament is the Prodigal Son. ( Luke 15:11-32 ) This parable is a fantastic example of learning to let go and get your life back. The prodigal son’s father was a right man. We learn the prodigal son wanted his inheritance. After receiving his inheritance, this son went off the deep end (if you will). He made some awful decisions that led to him wanting to eat what he was feeding pigs. This is when the prodigal son hit ‘rock bottom’. He came to himself and went back to his father. He was prepared to let go of his pride and ego to serve his father just so he could eat. What the prodigal son didn’t know was his father’s love for him. Once the prodigal son turned to his father, that is when he learned how much his father loved him and was ready to help him. The same is true with addiction recovery. Our Father in Heaven is a gentleman in the fact He will not stop us from making choices. If we choose to act out, our Father in Heaven will not stop ...

Every journey starts with the first step. I’ve heard this comment my entire life. It’s something that makes logical sense to everyone. The question that I found myself asking is: What does the first step look like? In addiction recovery, the first step was to admit that I was no longer in control of my life - my addiction was in control of my life. It took me quite some time to realize that I was no longer in control. When I look back now, I can see all the signs and triggers. I really wasn’t in control. I was at the mercy of my addiction and I was not strong enough to take my life back. The beautiful thing about addiction recovery is I didn’t have to be strong enough to take on my addiction. I had to be strong enough to turn my head and look to my Savior, Jesus Christ. Like the children of Israel, as they left Egypt and were bitten by fiery serpents, all I had to do was look to Jesus Christ to start my journey. Now, I will admit, this was not an easy task. Admitting I was no longer...