Providing Support

The day I decided to come clean about my addiction was a very humbling one. I knew it was a problem, and I knew I needed help. I started with my dad. A little background about my dad. He is a retired infantry Marine and a great businessman. He is a leader in his community. His will to accomplish something is iron and almost bulletproof at times. Yet, he has one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. He provides service when and where he can. He loves his family with all his heart and shows it every day.

When I decided to start with my dad, I was terrified. I loved my dad, and I was concerned that my past would change how he looked at me. I sat him down and opened up. I talked about my past, and my desire to be clean from my addiction. I cried as we spoke, and I cried hard. When I was finished, he sat there and looked at me. I was nervous about what he was going to say. His response was filled with love. He said, “Billy, I love you. You are my son, and always will be my son. How can I help?” This statement took me back. Here I was, admitting to an addiction and scared of a response. Here he was, showing more love and kindness than I ever thought imaginable.

That experience taught me a lot. It showed me how important providing support is. From that moment on, my dad and I had frequent conversations about my addiction. I would check in with him and let him know how I was doing. Dad was very careful to not let me use him as a crutch. Quite the opposite actually. He never tried to give me advice until I asked for it. He listened closely and did a great job at not telling me what to do. When I needed help, and if he was available, he was there. If he wasn’t available, he would let me know when he could sit down with me and talk to me.

Providing support to someone who suffers from an addiction can be a tricky thing. It requires a lot of love and patience. It is important to remember to serve with love if someone reaches out to you for support. The support you give can look like a lot of things. If you aren’t in the best position to provide support, letting the person know how much you love them is excellent. So often that is all the addict needs to hear is someone loves them. If you are in a position to provide support, make sure you support and not sustain. It can be really easy to tell someone what they should do. It can also get really easy for someone with an addiction to learn to rely on you instead of being “anxiously engaged in a good cause” (D&C 58:27). Encourage the addict to do great things so that they can do great things. You can explain you can’t do great things for them, but you will support them as they go about doing good.

Providing support can be a fulfilling role in life. I know how much I have benefited from giving support to friends and family throughout my life. I have seen how giving support has changed the lives of those with addictions and those without addictions. This great opportunity to serve! It is important to remember that giving support reflects the words of King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon: “And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.” (Mosiah 2:17)

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