Patience is required

In the movie, "Crossfire Trail", there is an interaction that I love. One younger character, J.T., is trying to file a horseshoe. The scene shows him vigorously trying to run the file back and forth with a lot of effort. One of the older characters, Joe, sees J.T. putting in a lot of effort that really isn't paying off. Joe makes a statement that I absolutely love in teaching J.T. that it's okay to slow down and be patient. Joe says, "If you slow down and take your time, you'll have a more harmonious outcome." Joe then gets up and shows J.T. with slow, consistent movements, the horseshoe is filed efficiently and quickly.

There is an inherent need for addicts to rush through everything. I know when I was doing my moral inventory, I found myself trying to rush it. In fact, I claimed that I did my very first moral inventory in a matter of hours. I put in a lot of effort, but it wasn't efficient and I didn't really learn anything. I shared my moral inventory with someone I trusted but wasn't familiar with moral inventories. After claiming I had completed my moral inventory, I found myself celebrating... with my addiction.

The second time I did a moral inventory, I wasn't really committed. I called someone up and asked them to be my sponsor. They agreed and he suggested we stay connected. I was excited about the opportunity to work on my moral inventory with such a person. Unfortunately, I didn't follow through. It all fell apart because it was going to require a commitment and time to complete. I made excuses and didn't do anything.

My third attempt at a moral inventory is where I found success. My sponsor and I met weekly. I brought my first version of a moral inventory to him. I read through the items that I had written. He listened closely and stopped me after some time. He pointed out that I really wasn't taking an inventory. I was just writing things down. He encouraged me to really ask myself what were the motivators and characteristics that led to my decisions. He also encouraged me to slow down and make a consistent effort.

I decided to take his advice. I took my time to think through each event. I made sure to slow down and make a consistent effort. I didn't immediately see the fruits of my labor, but they were there. I was seeing negative motivators and characteristics in my past. This helped me in the present to see the warning flags that would lead to relapses and poor decisions. I also saw positive motivators and characteristics that led to success and great decisions. My moral inventory started to become a great blessing in my life.

By being patient and really working through my moral inventory, I began to understand what king Benjamin taught his people in the Book of Mormon. He said, "For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." (Mosiah 3:19). I was putting off the natural man because I was being patient in working through my moral inventory with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

I know the Christ-like attribute of patience is key to completing a moral inventory. I would go as far as to say a moral inventory can't be completed without patience. I promise the Lord, Jesus Christ, wants to help us patiently review our past so our futures are brighter than ever!