Asking for help

One of the most difficult things to do as an addict is to ask for help. There seems to be a wall between the addict and anyone who could help. In fact, the addict builds the wall and insulates themselves away from the rest of the world. Why? There is a shame factor to addiction. I know when my wall was still up, I would say things like “Why can’t I stop my addiction by myself?”, “I started this, I need to finish it”, and “No one is going to be willing to help me if they truly know what I have done”. All of these are real things I have said to myself.

So, what changes? Why do addicts begin to ask for help? There is a common phrase addicts use to describe the darkest, loneliest place they have ever been: rock bottom. This situation is when the addict finally realizes they can’t do it by themselves and the only way to improve is to think outside themselves. Little thoughts like “Can God really help me?”, “Does God want to help me?”, “Am I worthy of God’s love?”, and “How can I feel God’s love?” begin to enter the mind. Soon enough, the addict makes an ask. Usually a small one. I know when I hit rock bottom my first real plea for help was asking God this question: “Do you really love me?”. It is a painful question to ask but the answer is so joyous! I learned that God loved me. More importantly, I learned that I could reach out to God for help.

Being able to reach out to God opened doors to asking others for help. I asked my bishop for help to change. I asked my sponsor to help me through the steps. I asked my parents to help me improve and understand. I asked my brother and sisters for forgiveness for not being the best version of myself growing up. Soon, I realized that asking for help enables God to bless you through others.

It’s my opinion the ability to ask for help is rooted in the Christ-like attribute of humility and is a gift from God. This means that you have to ask God for help in developing that attribute and gift. Start small. Build on the simple and small things. Then, before you know it, you’ll understand the power of asking for help. 

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