Be willing to abstain

In a recent General Conference, Elder Kevin W. Pearson gave an address titled “Are You Still Willing?”. Elder Pearson points out that “Our willingness to follow Jesus Christ is directly proportionate to the amount of time we commit to be in holy places where the influence of the Holy Ghost is present.” Being willing to abstain from participating in addiction means spending more time in holy places.

So, what is a holy place? A holy place, in my opinion, is anywhere I can go and feel the Holy Ghost. This means my home can be a holy place. Family gatherings can be holy places. The outdoors can be a holy place. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, temples are holy places to me as well.

Becoming willing to abstain from participating in addiction also means spending less time in “unholy” places. In my own journey, for instance, there were places that I just couldn’t go because I knew I would want to look at pornography. An instance of this was the gym. Now, I know the gym is a great place but let me set the stage for you. When I began my addiction recovery journey, I was not listening to the best music. It was very provocative and suggestive. I would make music lists on music apps that would be full of music that, I thought, would help me be motivated and focused. What the music did was put me in an “unholy” place. I couldn’t feel the Holy Ghost while listening to that music and as such, I had put myself in danger.

I had to make some changes so I could be willing to abstain from addiction. Here are some of the changes that I made in my life:

• Spent more time learning and less time scrolling
• Picked up cursive writing and calligraphy
• Changed the music that I listened to at work, while driving, and yes, at the gym
• Set boundaries for myself on when I could be on my phone and when I couldn’t be on my phone
• Started calling people on the phone instead of texting
• Attended church regularly and spent time with the scriptures

This list is not comprehensive at all, but it was an initial start. The changes in my life are not changes I can take credit for. A key component of these changes is God’s involvement. I realized the changes I wanted to make were beyond my power. I had lost control and power in my life. I needed someone’s help who was more powerful than I was.

That someone was God. As I began to pour my heart out to Him, I learned about His love for me. I learned God wanted me to be happy and find the joy only He can give. I learned I was valuable in God’s eyes, and He wanted to help me change. The more I prayed and asked God for help, the more willing I became and started to spend more time in holy places. Just to be honest and transparent, I’m still offering that same prayer today! It’s a process of improvement that never ends and I’m glad it doesn’t!

Now, I know becoming willing is scary and hard. Becoming willing is a process and willingness grows over time. It’s okay if your desire and willingness is small today, just keep moving forward. They will grow! Soon, you will find out, like I found out and what Elder Pearson taught was true: “Willingness is the catalyst of faith”.