Hope means being patient with yourself
One thing I've learned about hopeful people is they are patient with others. More importantly, they are patient with themselves. They understand life is a process and there are things that require time. The beautiful thing about the process, or journey, is the sights that are seen along the way.
During my recovery journey, I have learned that being hopeful is synonymous with being patient with myself. I would say things like "I'm an eternal optimist for everyone else and an eternal pessimist about myself." Doesn't sound like someone with a lot of hope, right? Well, in all honesty, I was operating more on fear and doubt than I was hope.
I wanted hope and I wanted it right now. I figured sprinting through the steps would make me feel better. I have learned since then the value of patience in developing hope. Hope is a beautiful seed that times to grow. The more time spent nurturing the seed, the more hope can grow into a strong, beautiful flower. Once it blossoms, it only takes a few minutes to understand why all the patience was needed.
I had one such learning lesson while talking with my sponsor. At the time, I was on step 2 but the names of individuals that I had hurt continued to come to my mind. I told my sponsor about it. He sat and listened to me. When I finished he explained to me what I was feeling was normal, but it wasn't time to reach out to anyone right now. There was a lot of work to prepare me for that. I would need to develop a lot of hope and faith to get to that point. I'm very grateful that I took the time to listen to him that day. In retrospect, I was not nearly close enough to start reaching out to anyone. I was merely wanting to sprint through the work.
Patience is a Christ-like attribute that we can all develop. As we do, we will see hope grow within us until that bright day!
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